If anybody is reading, just letting you know I have moved location. I found a different site that I prefer the format for and have therefore switched over. I have transferred most of the entries from this site over and will be posting there from now on.
If you're keen to follow, you can now find me at http://www.babysteps1804.wordpress.com
Unlike this blog, you are able to comment without having a login, so if you happen to stop by, say hello :)
Friday, February 7, 2014
Bit of this and that
Just popping in again with a bit of this and that.
I'm 28 weeks now and very pleased. My next "big goal" is 30 weeks and I'm hoping that if my scan goes well on Tuesday next week I may be able to negotiate leaving - although I am mentally prepared to stay here until 32 weeks. It is however difficult to accept I may be here for twice as long as I already have been. But, as I keep reminding myself, this is in the grand scheme of things a small chunk of my life for a very good cause.
I had my gestational diabetes test earlier this week - standard, routine screening for all pregnant women. Most women do the 1 hour test however because of the steroids I have been given to mature bubs lungs, it can mess up the results and so I had to do the 2 hour fasting test. I had my dinner at 6pm the night before and attempted to have a late night snack before the fasting began (from midnight) however somebody had already ransacked the kitchen and there was no bread or snacks left. My test didn't start until 9:30, by which point I was rather hungry... and cranky. I had to have an initial blood test then drink a 300ml bottle of glucose solution that contained 75 grams of sugar. To put this in perspective, that is the equivalent of about 800mls of the average soft drink. All of that on an empty stomach didn't agree with me too well and I soon became headachy and nauseas. 2 more blood tests later and I was finished and very keen for some real food. Thankfully, my wonderful grandmother had made me a chicken and vegetable casserole and my belly gratefully received it. The good news is I don't have gestational diabetes - not that it was likely as I don't have any risk factors, but it is still nice to get the all clear. I can't imagine how much worse hospital would be on a restricted diet.
Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions. It was the first anniversary of my wonderful Pop's death. He had multiple chronic conditions including diabetes and heart problems and over the years had had many complications as a result, yet always seemed to bounce back. Then a couple of years ago he took a turn for the worse and ended up with a lower amputation as a result of complications from his diabetes. It was a difficult time as he was in hospital for many months and we watched him fade as he lost his independence. The only option was for him to go to a nursing home - something that the whole family really struggled with, in particular my Nan who essentially lost her life long companion. We visited weekly and made the most of what time we had. My Pop adored his little great grand daughter (Charlotte). Then last year on Wednesday Feb 6 we got the phone call that poor Pop had finally got his one way ticket off Earth. We knew the time would come and in a way it was a relief as we knew he was no longer happy and suffering from pain and loneliness, but we were sad all the same. He had requested that he not have a funeral or burial and instead had donated his body to medical research. He always said that if he couldn't go to uni in this life, he would get there in his after life. So off he went to "uni" and in celebration of his life, our family had a BBQ at a local beach that he enjoyed going to. Nice and casual, the way he would have liked. Yesterday I reflected on his life and how he had been in hospital and the nursing home for such a long time and I had a renewed appreciation of how hard the last 18 months of his life must have been. I also felt sad that he will never get to meet his first born great grandson, who I know he would have adored. In his memory we are giving our baby "John" as a middle name - this was my Pop's middle name, but everyone called him that because he did not like his first name. This baby is due on April 29 and Pop's birthday was April 14 - it is unlikely to happen, but I would very much love if my baby could be born this day.
I got another leave pass today and was able to go out for lunch with Antony. We have really missed each other and visits are often more centered around Charlotte and making sure she is getting lots of mummy time. So today it was lovely to get out and have some couple time. Something as simple as going for lunch has lifted my spirits considerably. I have been noticing that over the last week my mood has taken a dip. I find myself more irritable over small things and bit more prone to mini meltdowns. I spent some time chatting to the social worker, really just to offload and I found this helpful and enlightening... I think because I know there is nothing I can do to change the situation I have just avoided dwelling on things, but when given the opportunity to speak freely the tears flowed. I was so wanting to get through this with a positive attitude, and basically, without "losing my shit" and as I spoke I felt like slapping myself and saying get it together already... but it was nice to be reassured that my reaction is normal and that I can have weak moments and that is ok. Getting out for a few hours today has been wonderful for my mental health. I have come back feeling chatty and energetic, but of course being dropped off at the front door and returning to my familiar 4 walls was depressing.
I will say it has been interesting to view hospital from a patient perspective. I suddenly understand why patients become frustrated, why they snap at seemingly small things... I understand what a difference the attitude and interactions with staff can make to the day. In a way I always knew what my impact as a nurse was on patients, but there is a difference between knowing and really knowing first hand. Because I am a "low maintenance" patient at the moment and only require a few minutes of time each shift for a basic set of observations and a couple of medications, I often will only see a midwife for 10 minutes in a day and often it is not even the midwife who is technically "caring" for me - often it is somebody who is relieving for a meal break or just helping out that comes in and quickly does the clinical aspect of my care. This in itself is not a big deal, but when a midwife takes the time to stay for a chat or pops in just to see how I'm getting along, it makes me feel more valued and cared for. A few in particular have been really fantastic and have that wonderful "bedside manner" that is often missed in the struggle to get through impossible workloads and busy shifts. I have always and still do believe I am a good nurse and have always tried to give that human touch to my patients but I think after this experience, I will have a renewed appreciation of the people I care for.
And so that sums up day 32. I had rissoles for dinner - they weren't too bad. There is nothing decent on TV tonight. I have purchased an online pattern for a crochet elephant beanie that I would like to make for bub - I doubt my ability but I will give it a shot anyway. The pattern has not yet been emailed to me, but I hope it will be in my inbox tonight and I will make a start as soon as it arrives. If it turns out well I will post a pic... or maybe I'll post a pic regardless, for a laugh! And that's the news out of Hotel Hospital :P
I'm 28 weeks now and very pleased. My next "big goal" is 30 weeks and I'm hoping that if my scan goes well on Tuesday next week I may be able to negotiate leaving - although I am mentally prepared to stay here until 32 weeks. It is however difficult to accept I may be here for twice as long as I already have been. But, as I keep reminding myself, this is in the grand scheme of things a small chunk of my life for a very good cause.
I had my gestational diabetes test earlier this week - standard, routine screening for all pregnant women. Most women do the 1 hour test however because of the steroids I have been given to mature bubs lungs, it can mess up the results and so I had to do the 2 hour fasting test. I had my dinner at 6pm the night before and attempted to have a late night snack before the fasting began (from midnight) however somebody had already ransacked the kitchen and there was no bread or snacks left. My test didn't start until 9:30, by which point I was rather hungry... and cranky. I had to have an initial blood test then drink a 300ml bottle of glucose solution that contained 75 grams of sugar. To put this in perspective, that is the equivalent of about 800mls of the average soft drink. All of that on an empty stomach didn't agree with me too well and I soon became headachy and nauseas. 2 more blood tests later and I was finished and very keen for some real food. Thankfully, my wonderful grandmother had made me a chicken and vegetable casserole and my belly gratefully received it. The good news is I don't have gestational diabetes - not that it was likely as I don't have any risk factors, but it is still nice to get the all clear. I can't imagine how much worse hospital would be on a restricted diet.
Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions. It was the first anniversary of my wonderful Pop's death. He had multiple chronic conditions including diabetes and heart problems and over the years had had many complications as a result, yet always seemed to bounce back. Then a couple of years ago he took a turn for the worse and ended up with a lower amputation as a result of complications from his diabetes. It was a difficult time as he was in hospital for many months and we watched him fade as he lost his independence. The only option was for him to go to a nursing home - something that the whole family really struggled with, in particular my Nan who essentially lost her life long companion. We visited weekly and made the most of what time we had. My Pop adored his little great grand daughter (Charlotte). Then last year on Wednesday Feb 6 we got the phone call that poor Pop had finally got his one way ticket off Earth. We knew the time would come and in a way it was a relief as we knew he was no longer happy and suffering from pain and loneliness, but we were sad all the same. He had requested that he not have a funeral or burial and instead had donated his body to medical research. He always said that if he couldn't go to uni in this life, he would get there in his after life. So off he went to "uni" and in celebration of his life, our family had a BBQ at a local beach that he enjoyed going to. Nice and casual, the way he would have liked. Yesterday I reflected on his life and how he had been in hospital and the nursing home for such a long time and I had a renewed appreciation of how hard the last 18 months of his life must have been. I also felt sad that he will never get to meet his first born great grandson, who I know he would have adored. In his memory we are giving our baby "John" as a middle name - this was my Pop's middle name, but everyone called him that because he did not like his first name. This baby is due on April 29 and Pop's birthday was April 14 - it is unlikely to happen, but I would very much love if my baby could be born this day.
I got another leave pass today and was able to go out for lunch with Antony. We have really missed each other and visits are often more centered around Charlotte and making sure she is getting lots of mummy time. So today it was lovely to get out and have some couple time. Something as simple as going for lunch has lifted my spirits considerably. I have been noticing that over the last week my mood has taken a dip. I find myself more irritable over small things and bit more prone to mini meltdowns. I spent some time chatting to the social worker, really just to offload and I found this helpful and enlightening... I think because I know there is nothing I can do to change the situation I have just avoided dwelling on things, but when given the opportunity to speak freely the tears flowed. I was so wanting to get through this with a positive attitude, and basically, without "losing my shit" and as I spoke I felt like slapping myself and saying get it together already... but it was nice to be reassured that my reaction is normal and that I can have weak moments and that is ok. Getting out for a few hours today has been wonderful for my mental health. I have come back feeling chatty and energetic, but of course being dropped off at the front door and returning to my familiar 4 walls was depressing.
I will say it has been interesting to view hospital from a patient perspective. I suddenly understand why patients become frustrated, why they snap at seemingly small things... I understand what a difference the attitude and interactions with staff can make to the day. In a way I always knew what my impact as a nurse was on patients, but there is a difference between knowing and really knowing first hand. Because I am a "low maintenance" patient at the moment and only require a few minutes of time each shift for a basic set of observations and a couple of medications, I often will only see a midwife for 10 minutes in a day and often it is not even the midwife who is technically "caring" for me - often it is somebody who is relieving for a meal break or just helping out that comes in and quickly does the clinical aspect of my care. This in itself is not a big deal, but when a midwife takes the time to stay for a chat or pops in just to see how I'm getting along, it makes me feel more valued and cared for. A few in particular have been really fantastic and have that wonderful "bedside manner" that is often missed in the struggle to get through impossible workloads and busy shifts. I have always and still do believe I am a good nurse and have always tried to give that human touch to my patients but I think after this experience, I will have a renewed appreciation of the people I care for.
And so that sums up day 32. I had rissoles for dinner - they weren't too bad. There is nothing decent on TV tonight. I have purchased an online pattern for a crochet elephant beanie that I would like to make for bub - I doubt my ability but I will give it a shot anyway. The pattern has not yet been emailed to me, but I hope it will be in my inbox tonight and I will make a start as soon as it arrives. If it turns out well I will post a pic... or maybe I'll post a pic regardless, for a laugh! And that's the news out of Hotel Hospital :P
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